Barry Andrews: Early Lyrics
1979-1981
Town And Country EP:
Me And My Mate Can Sing /
Bring On The Aligators / Mousetrap /
Sargasso Bar
Rossmore Road 7":
Rossmore Road NW1 /
Win A Night Out With A Well Known Paranoiac
All songs published by Virgin Music (Publishers) Ltd.
All songs written by Barry Andrews.
Lyrics reproduced with permission from Barry Andrews. Many thanks to
Barry for answering my persistent queries; he didn't really want to!
- Me And My Mate Can Sing
When the show stops in your dressing room
Wonder who these people are
Two little girls are standing by the doorway
Aren't you glad you're a star
They say that they're going to London
They say that the boys down here are not their cup of tea
They say that they're not like the other girls
Although they giggle, you think they'd go back to the hotel
Me and my mate can sing - we're not staying here forever
Me and my mate can sing - we're not waiting for the rest to catch up
And if not this time then the next time
And if not your band, some other band where we can sing
We don't need your names on bits of paper
Got a couple of our own
Well we won't say no to a bit of floor space
I think we've missed the last bus home
They say that they've had it with college
They say that they just try and stop you being who you are
They're not really liked by the other girls
Like Patti said they got something to hide here called Desire
Me and my mate can sing - There's gotta be something better than this
Me and my mate can sing - Get married isn't our idea of fun
And if not this time then the next time
And if not your band, some other band where we can sing
Me and, me and my, me and my mate can sing
(I said that) me and my, me and my mate can sing
I said that me and my mate can...
- Bring On The Aligators
You're here and I'm here to suffer in the cause of art
I chose you out of the crowd to screen test all the part
No crack, the All Blacks are with us on your Mum's settee
They ain't got nothing to do with you and/or me
Oh come on Sam, come on Sam
If you're an operator
Bring on the aligators
Bring on the aligators
Bring on the aligators
If Salvador was here he'd think it was his birthday
Cold out, I sold out, it breaks me heart to see you down
Just don't go screwing me up (or down or round and round)
Cracked up, we packed up, I couldn't stand the atmosphere
I told you to never bring your relatives in here
Oh come on Sam, come on Sam
If you're an operator
Bring on the aligators
Bring on the aligators
Bring on the aligators
Have another pill to aid your concentration
1 2 3 4 ... 1 2 3 4 (in Polish)
I'm crucial, so crucial, waiting for the phone to ring
You led me to understand you'd stop this happening
Tough dear, I still hear you screaming in my wildest dreams
I'm not sure it's healthy what you do behind those screens
Oh come on Sam, come on Sam
It ain't no good stealing other peoples' nightmares
If Salvador was here he'd think it was his birthday
Ain't no good writing letters to the Pope
Bring on the aligators
Bring on the aligators
Bring on the aligators
Bring on the aligators
- Mousetrap (Dedicated To Aunty Rene)
Been playing Shaftsbury Avenue
For a thousand years or maybe two - darlings
Done plenty bum gigs in my time
But everything's alright now
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
We fall in love most every night
We're quite ridiculously tight - darlings
And yeah I feel some kind of freak
Getting killed six times a week
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
It's nearly half past three
Gotta do a matinee
I don't understand this game
Why everything's the same
But as the show go on and on
And on and on
And on and on and on and on and on
And on
I know the punters mustn't see
How mundane it seems to me - darlings
But sometimes I wish I could screw
Someone else in Shaftsbury Avenue
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
Curtain up - exposition
Development of character
Plot - unravelling slow
Sustaining interest, gathering momentum
Till they unmask the killer
Then a twist right at the end
And it's all over till tomorrow night
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
In the mousetrap
- Sargasso Bar
Couple in the corner
Now she's crying on his shoulder
Well they're a couple of Modern Lovers
Sort of Kevin and Isolde
She's embarrassed by his footwear
He's embarrassed by her hair
But he doesn't really care
He says it's murder staying emotionally aware
He's another Lost Soul
But he's only come here to die
And get high
In the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar
In the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar
Big John in the wooly
Football training in the evening
Well he got married married married
Now he only thinks of leaving
And he's surrounded by the blubber
Watch the terylene stretching
As he makes a point about his car
When you're on miles to the gallon
You know where you are
And he's here every night, he's such a regular guy
He gets high
In the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar
In the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar
We came in from the rain
Now we're surrounded by the Eels of Death
Everyone nervous and everybody couldn't care less
We raise our glasses in 2/4 time
We study the latecomers as they slither in beneath the door
About this time of the night
There's more and more and more and more
Well, give them ten minutes then they all go home to die
Cos they're so high
In the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar
In the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar
In the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar
In the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar
In the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar
In the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar, the sargasso bar
- Rossmore Road NW1
[The 1980 version fades out before the end.]
The 159 runs along it
Round the corner from Baker Street
There's a dolls house shop on the corner
Of Lisson Grove and
Rossmore Road
Rossmore Road
Turn left at the DHSS in Lisson Grove
You find yourself in Rossmore Road
And there's a number of public buildings
And a safety barrier down the middle of the road
In Rossmore Road
In Rossmore Road
In Rossmore Road
White and yellow lines and street signs
And public phones and traffic cones
And belisia beacons on the central reservation
All humming now, all humming now, all humming now
To the north
The Grand Canal
Round the corner
Regent's Park
Next stop on the tube
Marylebone Road
And you can see
Balcombe Street from Rossmore Road
The 159 runs along it
Round the corner from Baker Street
There's a dolls house shop on the corner
Of Lisson Grove and
Rossmore Road
Rossmore Road
Rossmore Road
Rossmore Road
In Rossmore Road
White and yellow lines and street signs
North of the river
South of the circular
Under the road
Above the railway
All humming now, all humming now, all humming now
All humming now, all humming now, all humming now
All humming now, all humming now, all humming now
All humming now, all humming now, all humming now
All humming now, all humming now, all humming now
All humming now...
- Win A Night Out With A Well Known
Paranoiac
We could rendezvous in a country pub I know in the heart of rural England
where the landlord sports moustaches just like Jimmy Edwards and the crisps
and pickled onions on the bar are numberless as the stars at night.
We're just about to order scampi in an Elizabethan basket when two
neckless men in blazers and cravats approach our table and say - "sorry -
this bar is exclusively for the use of Nobel prize winners,
latter day saints, people who have seen God and selected relatives of our
dear Queen, and furthermore, you worm, there is mud upon your plimsolls".
I reply that I am a member of most elitist cliques you care to name
and the blood which courses (at an ever increasing speed
as it happens) through my veins belonged once to the Cuban royal family,
but, they don't listen and they just pour my drink down the sink and say
"this is not what we mean".
In this life, one is either U or non-U and if I were you I'd
make myself bloody scarce. I even try to show them my credit cards but
unmoved they say "OK sonny, it's time you were taught a lesson and there's
only one thing that your sort understand".
Win a night out with a well known paranoiac
Win a night out with a famous paranoid
Win a night out with a well known paranoiac
Win a night out with a famous paranoid
At an Iberian eatery in the west end, we could gaze at each other across saucers
of yoghurt and bits of crusty foreign bread - and then - I could order a
carraffe of Asti - we could have so much fun. We could discuss things
like communism and chart positions with the lack of inhibitions
that separate the truly liberated from the herd - but - I should mention
that I talk quite loud as a casualty of inexpensive foreign wine and
neither am I unaware of the restive noises from the party sitting close
by. But as I'm in the middle of my funny story about the Arab and the
underwater toilet, I can't stop now cos I'm in too deep, as I'm coming to
the part where I say (in my best joke telling voice), "so the Arab says to
the attendant, right..."
Of course as we know five thousand pounds of pressure can suck out almost
anything, it all goes quiet and here a little girl is saying, "Daddy, what
a horrible man" and Daddy replies, "don't worry darling cos I've just
made a phone call to your crypto-fascist Uncle Roger and he'll be here
quite soon, and make quite sure he doesn't upset any little girls...
little girls any more."
Win a night out with a famous paranoiac
Win a night out with a well known paranoid
Win a night out with a well known paranoiac
Win a night out with a famous paranoid
Lying in your crumpled bed on Sunday morning, you said your Mum and Dad
had gone away to a conference in Bath and I believed you like a fool.
Now you get up, go to the window and you turn a pot plant round. I study
your naked bottom with a twinge of lust but I'm not twigging that
something's going down. There is a sound of the heavy boots upon the
stairs and the door crashes open and in comes your Dad with some faithful
retainers and some ex-Army mates from the Conservative Club. And I figure
they must have been waiting all night because your Dad is clutching two
reels of infra-red film and he's looking dangerously pale as he shows me
the microphone under the bed, and I'm just about getting the message:
all is not too groovy.
As you stand there in your dressing gown laughing at me, then in comes
your Mum in her nylon house coat with her hair hanging loose like a
suburban Harpy and she advances towards me with an army surplus bush knife,
clearly bent on wreaking havoc down below the navel and she's just about to
get stuck in when I wake up... and yeah, it was all a dream.
I'm really in a hospital bed. There is a smell of formaldehyde in the air,
and a couple of doctors with swastikas on their arm are doing something
to the brain of a sheep and in the corner is a huge zinc bath containing
some sort of reptile and the nurse is saying "be a brave boy and drink it
all up". And I realise I can't feel me legs and the shape in the bed isn't
my shape at all and I wanna cry out but I can only bleat.
Win a night out with a well known paranoiac
Win a night out with a famous paranoid
Win a night out with a well known paranoiac
Win a night out with a famous paranoid
Win a night out with a famous paranoid
Win a night out with a famous paranoid
Win a night out with a well known paranoiac
Win a night out with a famous paranoid
Win a night out...
Win a night out...
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Phil Hetherington
Last Modified: 28.04.05